How To Deal With a Cheater

By Subodh / January 23, 2014

Are you feeling bad because you think that your partner is cheating on you? You are not alone. A study reveals that over 25 percent of the people cheat on their partners. But knowing that there are others too who get cheated does not make your pain any less. In fact, you really don’t care who is getting cheated and who is not unless you are yourself cheated by your partner. No matter how many people are getting cheated across the globe, your own experience could be heart wrenching. It is really a difficult situation to deal with.

Many people get cheated and they are not able to live with it. They succumb to the pain and ruin their life. But life is not meant to be ruined by someone who doesn’t care for you and cheats on you. It is meant to be lived to its fullest. If you are sure that your partner is cheating on you, no point sulking about it for a long time. You will feel the pain but try to get over it as soon as possible. The sooner you get out of it, the sooner you will be able to take control of your life back in your own hands.

Cheating Partner

Accept That You Have Been Cheated And Learn To Live With This Fact

The biggest problem with people after being cheated or after heartbreak is that they are not able to accept it. They simply can’t believe that something like this can possibly happen with them. You may have seen other people being cheated, but when you are in a relationship you somehow assume that it will never happen to you. While it is good that you don’t live with the fear that you might get cheated someday, it is also important that you accept it when you actually are.

If you are not able to accept it, you will not be able to move forward. If you will continue to live in denial, your actions will not be appropriate. You will not be able to get over the situation. You will continue in the same state forever. Therefore, pause for a moment, take a deep breath and tell yourself that you have been cheated. Accepting may be more painful. But to make sure that the pain doesn’t stay for long, you will have to feel it all at once. Cry as much as you want to. Don’t curb your crying. It will be a great way to vent out your pain.

Don’t Stay Alone; Find Someone To Share Your Pain

Another problem with people who are heartbroken is that they isolate themselves from the rest of the world. They want to feel the pain alone as much as they can. But this is not a very good idea. If you want the pain to go away quickly, it is better that you share it with someone. The more you talk about it, the sooner it will go. The more you keep it within yourself, the longer it will stay and hurt. Find someone who you are comfortable talking and share all the pain. Tell that person how you feel and how you are not able to cope up with it.

The person who you will talk to could be anyone. That person could be your best friend, your brother, your sister, your parents or anyone you are absolutely comfortable talking to. Choose the person who doesn’t act as a guru giving advice, rather someone who only listens to you without judging you. You don’t want advice in such situations. You only need to be listened to.

Don’t Ever Hold Yourself Responsible For What Happened

The biggest skill of the cheaters is that they will make you feel that it is you who is responsible for the situation. They will tell you all the things that you did not do right leading to such a situation. What they are saying could perhaps be right too, but it does not give them the freedom to cheat on you. When the things are not right, they need to be talked out and sorted. If your partner cheats on you because the things were not going in the right direction between you two, it is pretty obvious that he or she was just looking for excuses.

When your partner points out your faults and blames you for everything, you will perhaps start believing it. You will start blaming yourself for everything. It will also affect your self-esteem. But don’t ever blame yourself for what happened. Instead, feel happy that it happened now before it was too late. It was not your fault at all. It just had to happen that way.

Try To Mend Things If Possible

Sometimes you feel cheated even when your partner has a casual relationship with someone else. Perhaps you doubt your partner too much. A good idea would be to talk it out with your partner. He or she may just be having a relationship of friendship with the third person. Talking out will mend things in that case. When you talk to your partner about it, tell them about your feeling and say that you just want to make sure that your relationship goes strong for a long time.

Sometimes we are too possessive about our partners and we are not able to see them even talking to someone else. It is better that you internalize and find out if there is something that you could change in yourself before confronting your partner.