How To Deal With a Cheapskate

By Subodh / January 5, 2014

Do you have a friend who does not spend a dime when he goes out with you and always wants you or someone else to reach out to the wallet and pay on his behalf? A cheapskate is someone who always tries to make sure that he gets to spend as little as possible. The other terms for cheapskate are miser or skinflint. Of course it is true that almost everyone wants to spend as little as possible but when it comes to matter of contributions we all willingly do it. On the other hand a cheapskate goes to the extreme ends to ensure that he is able to save every single penny he can.

Spending on someone once in a while is okay. But when someone is trying to take you for granted, you may not be able to accept it. For instance, a cheapskate will not spend a penny even when he is expected to spend less. However, when you will go to the place where it will cost a lot, he will pick up the most expensive stuff and will expect you to pay for it without even once offering to pay. Sometimes this behavior is tolerable. However, there are times when you just can’t stand such cheap stuff. Here are some ways to deal with a cheapskate.

If It Doesn’t Happen Often, Pay For It If You Can

CheapskateRemember one thing. He is the cheapskate not you. There are many times when we start judging people based on just one incidence. Let’s say you went out with a friend to a restaurant. Your friend ate all he could and you did the same. When it came to paying the bill, he did not offer to pay it. Instead, he seemed to have ignored it completely. This is the time when you need to show your character. If he isn’t paying the bill, don’t judge him yet. Pay the bill yourself and let it be. However, if you don’t have enough money, ask him for the contribution. Perhaps your friend just forgot at the time of paying the bill. Perhaps he was thinking about something else while the bill was given.

Judging someone based on one event is not the right thing to do. He may not necessarily be a cheapskate. Perhaps he did not have money at that time and did not wish to be embarrassed. However, if he is repeats such behaviors in the future, then he might well be a cheapskate.

Figure Out If He Really Is A Cheapskate

Before you label your friend as a cheapskate, it is better that you observe his behavior for a while. A couple of times is not a good number to decide something about someone. Give him some more time. However, if you see a pattern in his behavior and he is never willing to pay the money no matter how small the amount is, then he might well be a cheapskate and then you may need to deal with him accordingly.

If you think that you have already lost a lot of money on your cheapskate friend, decide that now you will not do it anymore. So if he happens to ask you for a treat, or asks you for money, you may say no to him directly. You don’t have to tell him upfront that he is a cheapskate. Instead, just keep refusing him whenever he wants you to spend the money. Sooner or later he will realize your intentions.

Be Upfront If The Problem Doesn’t Get Solved

Even after constant refusals your friend keeps coming back to you asking you for favors or treats, perhaps you will have to be a little more direct with him. This could get a little tricky for you. You want to make sure that you don’t get rude and at the same time you want to make sure that your friend realizes that what he is doing is not right. It means you have to find a way to let your friend know he is a cheapskate without hurting his feelings.

The first step to achieve this is by directly telling your friend that you cannot spend money at all. You can politely tell him that your cash reserves are limited and you can’t go about spending them all the time. Your constant refusals will make him understand things a little. The second step is to start giving him indirect references. For instance, you can tell him that there are some people who think that he is a cheapskate. Tell him that you personally don’t think so, but his actions may make some people feel this. You can politely tell your friend to stop asking money and that he should start spending money making equal contributions whenever necessary.

If Nothing Works, Ignore Them

Some cheapskates are simply unchangeable. This means no matter how hard you try, they will never mend their ways. They just don’t care what others think of them and they continue doing what they do best – not spend at all. If none of your reforming acts have worked, it is better that you start ignoring them. Initially they will not understand your behavior and will ask you what is wrong with you. You may choose to tell them the true reason or you may choose to tell them there is nothing wrong but continue ignoring them.  You may feel bad about it but perhaps this would be the only way to deal with a cheapskate.