We have learn since childhood that winning is good and losing is bad. This is exactly how we practically take everything in our life. Getting what we want in life is winning. Not getting it is losing. The same applies to rejection letters. Whether you are a writer who has submitted his work to a publisher or you are a student who has applied for the top college, you want your application to go through. You don’t want to get the rejection letter. You may have the possibility in the mind while applying that your application may get rejected. But you also have a hope that it will get accepted. More often than not the hope plays so much on your mind that it converts into belief and you forget that other possibilities may also exist. You start taking it for granted. And when you get the rejection letter in your hand, you get dejected and depressed. Rejection affects us two folds. First of all it is our ego which is not able to accept the rejection. Secondly, we feel bad when we don’t get what we want. Here is how you can deal with rejection letters.
Accept That You Have Received A Rejection Letter
It is not just about the rejection letter. In other aspects of life too when you get rejected, it is difficult to believe and accept that. You may read the rejection letter many times over and still not believe that it is addressed to you. So the first step is to accept that you have received the rejection. Unless you accept and confront the fact, you will keep dwelling in it and you will keep feeling bad about it. Without accepting, you will never be able to get over it. Only when you have accepted the fact, you will be able to decide what to do next. Our ego plays an important role in our life. It plays an important role here too. It will keep telling you that by no means you could be rejected and you will stay in denial of it. So take a deep breath, let the feeling of rejection sink in and then move on.
You Have Not Been Rejected Because Someone Has Personal Problems With You
You already know that you have not been rejected because someone has personal problems with you. You know that it is all professional. But it is a human trait to take things personally. Your ego somehow keeps convincing you that it is personal. If a publisher has rejected your article, they may have liked it but perhaps they had to select one out of many and yours did not make it to the top. It does not mean that your work is not good. It is a matter of subjective choices too. One thing is for sure though. Your rejection has got nothing to do with someone personally disliking you.
Don’t Ever Think That You Are No Good
When you get the rejection letter, you may start thinking that you are no good. Don’t let your low self-esteem do the talking with your mind. Again, as already stated, it is a matter of subjective choices. If someone has to make a choice to pick the best out of many available options, the ‘best’ could be according to his or her personal preferences. Not all the movies make it to the top 5 of the Oscars in the best film category. Out of the top 5, only one takes home the Oscar award. Does that mean remaining 4 movies are bad? No. You can safely assume that all the top 5 movies are equally good. It is just that one of them became the personal favorite of the juries.
It Is Not The End Of The World; Start Thinking What Next
It is okay to feel sad about the rejection letter. You are a human being not an inanimate robot. If you don’t get what you want in life it is natural to feel bad about it. But you don’t really want it playing on your mind for a very long time. What’s done is done. What you need to consider now is, what’s next. First of all, don’t deny that you are feeling bad about it. Feel bad and then get over it as quickly as possible. Try to cheer yourself up; involve into something that makes you feel good. Call up a friend and spend some time with him or her. Play video game. Watch a movie.
Figure Out What You Can Do Better Next Time
Once you are in a better frame of mind, analyze what went wrong and how you can do better. Perhaps you will find out that it was the matter of sheer luck and you were already good. If you can make out areas of improvement, work on it. If you think no improvement is needed, persist with what you are doing and keep trying. If you had only one shot at it and you have already lost it after getting the rejection letter then think of something else that you would like to achieve.