How To Deal With Rude People – 8 Ways

By Subodh / November 18, 2013

Focus on yourself

So you want to deal with rude people? Well, the best way to do that is not to be affected by their behavior internally. There is a story about Lord Buddha and his friend who was a king of an adjacent village. Once the king took some of his followers to make them meet Buddha claiming that Buddha is a good friend and would be obliged to see him. However as the king reached the ashram of Buddha, he learned that the master had started his meditation. The king decided to wait but after sometime starting poking Buddha by initially requesting and later on talking rudely and using foul language to instigate Buddha to get up. Once the king learned that Buddha would not get up he left the village taking back all the gifts he had got for the lord. When Lord Buddha got up from the meditation, his followers expressed their sentiments that the master should have gotten up from the meditation and given the king a befitting reply. The lord replied to them by asking a question “ Did he bring some gifts for me?” his followers replied “Yes” , “What did he do when I did not take the gifts” asked lord Buddha back. His followers replied, “He took it back”. Then the lord said, “So what happened to the shit that he was trying to give me?” There is no need to explain any further. Therefore, if someone is talking rudely to you, first learn to not to take it personally and not get affected by it.

Deal With Rude People

Confront

If you are bothered by someone’s rude behavior, it might be a good suggestion to confront that person. Most people have a habit of dusting the floor and brushing the dust under the carpet until it becomes too huge, figuratively speaking. Therefore, confront before conflict. Talk to the person and discuss about issues that are bothering you. It should be done along with a third neutral party and the confrontation should be of issues and not persons. This means that talk about the instances where you felt the person was rude and not about his or her personality traits. Lastly, also be ready to listen from them their point of view. They might be doing this also because they do not like something about you but are not able to express in words.

Detachment

Detach yourself from the issue when the person has been rude to you. This is because you cannot deal with the person or take prudent decision till the time you are detached to that person. If you are attached too much to that person, you may ignore when he or she becomes rude to you until it becomes unbearable and hurts you. Therefore, detach yourself from that person. You can only detach yourself from the person when you know that detachment does not mean to stop loving. It simply means to let some people go. In addition, the act of letting go can happen only when you love someone. Therefore, there is more love in detachment than attachment. Once you are detached totally from that person, you can take the right decision, which is good for you and that person

Talk to them

Sometimes talking to them might help you in knowing the true cause. Therefore, have a chat with them to understand why they are rude. Some people are rude by their characteristics while others are rude because they are reacting to a situation. Talking to them can help you in ascertaining their cause for being rude.

Understand their reason

A person could be rude because of many reasons and if your loved ones are rude it is important to get to the root cause. They could be rude because they are insecure or surprisingly out of fear. Alternatively, it could also be a way of getting your attention. It could also mean a deep characteristic trait. If it is a deep characteristic state, then it is best to avoid them. However, if you must deal then you could consult a psychologist in that case.

Show love

One of the best ways to deal with rude people is to show kindness and love. Firstly, they will be shocked to receive this treatment from you. Secondly, most of the times the person is being rude because he wants to get your attention and by showing love and kindness you give a signal to the person that you are with him or her through thick and thin. This relieves the person from any pressures and thus he may be able to look within himself. Lastly, it also shocks him and he would question as to why are you giving him this treatment in spite of he or she being so rude to you. This could force him or her to look at their wrong doings and repent their mistakes.

Silent treatment

If nothing works then you might have to resort to the last resort that is giving silent treatment to the person. This becomes important especially when the rude person makes it a habit to show his or her rude behavior just to get your attention by disturbing you. In such a situation, giving more attention to such person may only send out the wrong signal to them. Some people take it as a sign of their victory and your loss. Therefore, giving any more attention only empowers the person to act more rudely. Thus, it becomes important to not to give any more attention to that person.

Communicate

Lastly, it will be best to communicate such person about the unruly behavior. Be firm when you say it and establish a proper eye contact and a strong body posture. The ideal eye contact is to look in the middle of the two eyes while talking. Looking directly in the eye is threatening and looking elsewhere shows lack of confidence. While maintaining a good eye contact, request them firmly not to be rude with you.