How To Deal With Transphobia

By Subodh / December 17, 2013

Well, if you’re here you’re obviously wondering, so here are few ways to deal with Transphobia

Find People Who Support You

It is very important to find people around who support you and provide you your own social space, which is safe and secure. Find allies and choose your allies carefully. Find trustworthy people amongst your friends, coworkers, family and people who can understand you and stand for you when you need them.

Build a Trans friendly Space Around You

It is very important to build a trans friendly space around you where you feel comfortable and safe to move around and socialize. Pick your social groups and rotate them. Moreover, sometimes in times of distress you might need someone to help you or pull you out of a tricky situation.

Take Self-defense Classes

You may not need this always, but it always helps you to build that extra confidence when you move in an unsecured and unfriendly space. Dedicate a few hours a week to take self-defense classes like martial arts or karate to equip yourself of all the techniques in order to defend yourself. Martial arts or any other form of self-defense is not to cause harm to anyone. It is for you to be used as a last resort for protection.

Be Firm

Be firm

It is very important to be firm with people. If you do not like certain comments at a dinner by your friends or colleagues, make sure that you are firm enough to tell them that it is not appreciable and you do not like it. Do not avoid any sly remark about you, as it would give them a leeway to do it again and maybe say something more derogatory later. Therefore, if someone calls you “She-male” or “he-she”, do not take it as his or her ignorance. Make sure that you communicate strongly to them that you do not accepts to be derogated like this.

Educate People About the Subject who Genuinely Ask You

You might find times when people genuinely want to know more. However, be careful before you splurge the information about you. Share it with only trustworthy people. Secondly, find more and more allies around you. These people can help you by making you feel better or stand up for you at the time of need. It is also important to educate the people basic etiquettes of being your ally. Most people do not even know that it is derogatory to call some one she-male or he-she or not to ask them about their genital and their body directly, unless they are your lover or doctor. Therefore, educate them on all the etiquettes before you call them your ally.

Look for Legality Issues

It is not necessary to file a case against everyone who calls you a “she-male” but it is important to build a good legal system around you. Make sure that you check at your workplace if they have any laws against people who involve in gender in-discrimination. This can help and protect you in future. Try to find a workplace that has suitable laws to protect your rights, if the need be.

Be Comfortable with Your Self

This one can be tough for you but if you really want to win the battle, you will have to be comfortable with yourself. It takes some people decades to get over this and it is this, which is a cause of pain. Therefore, be comfortable for who you are and have faith in god. There is a reason for everything in life. If you are comfortable, you will automatically become more vocal about your thoughts, which will help in silencing all those people who use sly remarks to put you down or have fun. Being more confident and vocal puts people in a tough spot to say anything to you or cause harm.

Become Humorous

The best way to avoid anyone bothering you is by turning the question around. Add humor to your remarks. If you get offended by other people’s question, it could only fuel to their intentions. Their intention is to have fun and you are the subject. Hence, if you get irritated and frustrated, this is exactly what they want. Therefore, do not give them what they want. Rather say something that catches them off guard. For example, if someone asks you if they could touch you. You can either become serious and say a dry faced “No” or reply humorously, do not worry they are better than yours. No matter what you do but remember to not to give them what they want like a frustration or an enraged reaction.

Law of Attraction

The best is always for the last. This is one of the best techniques to overcome the problem. Any problem can be solved using law of attraction. This is the best type of problem to be solved using this technique. You must have heard the famous saying “Thoughts become actions”. Therefore, what you think about the most in the day will happen to you. If you fear falling, you will fall eventually. Consider your self as a magnet and you attract all that you throw out, good or bad. Your subconscious mind attracts whatever you think about the most. Subconscious mind does not know the difference between good and bad. If you keep thinking about the sly remarks and people making fun of you at the part or your workplace, it will happen to you more often. However, change your vibrations and if you start feeling good and start projecting good and positive thoughts like you are loved, everyone likes you, you are at peace. The subconscious mind starts projecting this and you start getting what you ask for. Do positive affirmations like, Everyone loves me, I am liked by everyone, I am loved at my workplace by everyone, my friends take care of me to see the magic. Do these affirmations daily for few minutes in the morning and before sleeping.