How To Deal With Wannabes

By Subodh / December 30, 2013

Have you ever seen someone who dresses up as if he is from a different planet and tries to outsmart everyone around but ends up looking like a fool? If you see someone who is trying to act too smart, has dressed up like no else around, is telling stories of the big things he has done in the past, having fun at the expense of other people, and still trying to be likeable, he is a wannabe. The wannabes will act as if they are the king of the world. You will always see wannabes surrounded with a few people who have fallen in the trap of his pretenses. And those people will keep him feeling important about his existence. A normal person like you will immediately figure out that he is a wannabe and the first thought for him will be most likely a thought of contempt. But when you will think a little deeply, you will know that wannabes are not to be hated. They need to be pitied at as they have never lived a life of their own; they have always lived as a wannabe. Let’s name our wannabe as Joe. This is how you can deal with a wannabe.

Wannabes

Show Him The Mirror And Walk Away

Whenever you run into Joe, you will find him beating his own trumpets. He will tell you the 100th time how good a student he was in the 1st grade or kindergarten. How people used to flock him for help and how popular he was. He will tell you how little girls always wanted to be around him and asked him for help. Well this could be too much to handle for you. But there is nothing much you can do about it. You can’t change Joe the way he is. Wannabes perhaps have a psychological disorder and you are no psychiatrist. Maybe you can give a shot and show him the mirror. When people will keep showing him the mirror, he might change after some time. Don’t say anything out of hatred. Perhaps you can show some pity.

You can tell Joe how insignificant his achievements in kindergarten are today. No one cares what others did in kindergarten. Most of the people don’t even remember what they used to be like at that age. Ask him to talk about what he has achieved at this age.

If You Don’t Want To Deal With Him, Ignore Him

Another way to deal with Joe is to not deal with him at all. If you don’t want to exchange words with him, simply walk away. Joe knows that you are much better than him, but somehow he is not able to accept it. He thinks no one can be better than him. Every time he is with you, he will try to downplay you with his personal praises. Don’t let your ego deal with the situation. Your ego will try to prove Joe wrong and tell him that he is a loser. Mark Twain once said that never argue with a stupid. He will first bring you down to his level and then beat you with his experience.

If Joe is trying to downplay you, stay cool. There is nothing to worry about. Other than the couple of his followers, no one else cares what Joe says and does. No one is going to believe him. Instead of muddling with him, tell him, “You are right,” give him a smile and walk away.

Try And Understand Their Psychology; It May Help You Deal With Them Better

Why does Joe or for that matter all the wannabes behave like one. These people have a very low self-esteem and high degree of inferiority complex. Perhaps they don’t even realize this and most of their behaviors are involuntary. Because of their low self-esteem they form a mental projection of themselves as someone superior and likeable. A projection of someone they want to be but they can never be. They visualize themselves as someone superior for a long time and their behavior also starts changing accordingly.  There is a huge difference between their real self, their mental projection and their visible physical manifestation. This difference results in their abnormal behavior.

Joe really doesn’t need to be hated. Most of the times, you will notice, people like Joe are harmless. Perhaps Joe needs to be told that he must start believing in himself and stop living someone else’s life. It will not be easy though and may take a long time.

If You Cannot Ignore Them, Get In Agreement With Them

If you are finding it difficult to ignore Joe as he keeps trailing you wherever you go, then a good idea would be to let him do the talking. Once he is done talking about his greatness, he will go away anyways. When Joe is saying big things about the achievements of his life, stay in agreement and keep giving him regular nods. You can smile a bit too occasionally.