Most families consider that staying under one roof is a good idea because it keeps the bond between them; especially if they happen to be really close. But the typical family picture is this: as soon as Junior finishes school and gets a good-paying job enough to make a living of his own, he moves out. Some adult children, however, stay at home with their parents because they find better comfort with their presence.
At recent count, there are 18 million adult children are living with their parents—some returned and some never moved out in the first place; or worse, some of these adult children also brought their spouses and children with them. Adult children return to the comfort of their parents for different reasons such as; unemployment, underemployment, divorce, illness or disability. Some adult children never move out because they don’t want to let go of their parents. They might have had such a good family bond or relationship that moving out becomes a fear. However, this becomes a burden to the parents who have no choice but to take responsibility.
Such situations arise in some families. So what should you do?
- Remember that your children are adults now; and it is not normal that they still live under your supervision. They cannot learn how to be independent if you give them more chances to be dependent upon you. However, if these adult children do have physical or mental disabilities—matters are yet to be considered for the safety of their welfare. They have to be taken care of.
- Discuss this dilemma with the members of the family. It is better for everyone to participate, plan and decide what is best.
- Remind your adult children to contribute to household expenses that they may be aware of their obligations.
What are some options to solve this problem?
- You could offer your child an attractive apartment and pay for the rent temporarily. If your child enjoys his stay, he won’t be crawling back to your house.
- Find your child a job; because he now has an income, charge him a high rent for all the rooms he is occupying in your house. That way, he’d look for a more affordable house to live in.
- Find him a wife whose family would be more than welcome to provide them a comfortable house.
- Seek help; get your child tested for any disorder and get it corrected.
Better yet, seek help from a professional—just like what Al and Sue did to get rid of Tripp when he fell in love with Paula, in the movie “Failure to Launch”.