How To Gracefully Deal With People Who Will Try To Control Your Wedding

By Subodh / November 11, 2013

After the dust settles from your engagement, the next phase is the exciting task of planning your wedding. And as the bride-to-be, you have probably also heard how stressful wedding planning can be.

Wedding stress can come in many forms: the vendors you have to get in touch with, the details you need to tackle and even the little arguments you and your fiance will have over everything, from guest list to wine lists and so on. Then, there are people who just take it upon themselves to take over your wedding. They are the individuals who will try to ruin your big day or talk you into making decisions that will not only annoy you, but you might actually regret later on. So if you ever come across them while you prepare for your wedding, here are some things you can do to deal with the pre-wedding mayhem gracefully and arrive at a compromise.

Control Your Wedding

The complaining bridesmaid

It does not matter if she is your sister, best friend or colleague. There is a possibility that one of your bridesmaids will let you down in some way. All too often, the issue has something to do with the wedding day outfit. Many bridesmaids complain that the outfit is too flashy; the colour is too bold; or the dress shows a lot of skin. In such case, it is a good idea to find an alternate option that she would feel more comfortable wearing. For instance, if she your bridesmaid is conservative, consider incorporating a wrap, cardigan or bolero jacket whose shade complements the colour of your wedding.

To avoid dealing with a testy bridesmaid altogether, consider asking your bridal party for input on picking bridesmaid dresses. While you are under no obligation to follow what they want, at least you will be able to arrive at a decision that everyone would be happy about.

The meddlesome mom

Some moms just want to get too involved with their daughter’s or son’s wedding. Hence, they end up crossing the line from being helpful to aggravating. The problem with this case is that the bond between the mother-child can be strained by stress that comes with wedding planning. Even worse, an already tensed relationship can reach its breaking point.

Of course, you do not want to argue with your mother, especially with your wedding day nearing. So how do you deal with an interfering mom? First off, start things on the right foot. Have an honest conversation with your mother or mother-in-law and discuss details that might become the root cause of a possible rift, including the budget and guest list. After you have set the initial ground rules, keep the communication lines open to make her feel that she is in the loop. Also, since mom would surely want to help in the planning process, ask her what parts of the wedding she feels is most important to her. From there, give her a list of specific tasks with instructions and respectfully let her know what she cannot do. By doing this, you will be able to make mom feel that she is a big part of your wedding. And with all the things she has to attend to, she probably won’t have time to be a nosy mom.

The assuming guest

There are some guests who have no qualms insisting a few invitees to another person’s wedding and there are also guests who are too eager to offer help even when not necessary. If you are dealing with the first mentioned type of guest, be polite and explain to him or her that your wedding is an intimate one with close friends and family only. As for the latter type of guest, express how much you appreciate the offer, but that you are already in the process of tackling details, and if anything comes up you will surely get in touch with her.

The mischievous kids

Unless you will be having a black-tie affair, there is a possibility that a couple of kids will be present in your wedding. And if they are invited, you are likely going to deal with mischief as well. To calm the situation, it is a good idea to set some provisions well in advance to keep kids happy during the ceremony and reception.

First, help their parents plan ahead for the event. Let them know the general itinerary well in advance so they can plan for their kids’ naps, feeding and potty breaks. It is also wise to let them know if their children will be needed for photo sessions and what time frame the pictures would be taken. It is also a good idea to set up a private area where kids can crash on for games or if they feel like sleeping. Also, be thoughtful with the food you serve to the little ones. Offer something they will enjoy such as pizza, mini hotdogs, chicken fingers and French fries.