Marriage is among the most powerful bonds in human life that serves as the foundation of family and, to a large extent, what we call society. However, contrary to the age old saying-not all marriages are made in heaven. Even the happiest couples go through their share of strains and cracks in the marital bond. The core truth is, marriages do not work out unless you make them work. Regardless of the factors like your race, ethnicity, religion, age or income- you are likely to face some hurdles in conjugal life.
There is no magic solution to overcome difficulties in married life. However, you may focus on a few points to tackle the most commonplace hurdles in conjugal journey.
This is definitely easier said than done, but being honest to each other resolves many conflicts in marital life. Honesty is one of the pillars on which the institution of marriage stands and survives. In fact, honesty in small domestic aspects to professional aspects- is of paramount importance. At times, you may feel tempted to hide certain things to your spouse. However, before doing so analyze what the repercussion may be and how conflicts may arise out of it.
2. Sorting Problems Out Mutually
Conflicts and differences of opinion may arise in a marital relationship. However, it is not wise to keep the problems under carpets until they blow out of proportions! The right timing is important, but you should discuss problems affecting marital harmony with your spouse. Remember that it is not about proving who is right and wrong, but it is for well being of marriage. It could be about a pesky neighbor or some income related issues, but a discussion with the spirit of co-operation helps in resolving problems.
3. Financial Disparity
This issue can crop up when both of the spouses work and there is a significant gap between income levels. It helps when you make plans for monthly finances and distribute it among two of you. Similarly, you may plan financing for upcoming events, tours, saving for emergencies and so on. Besides, make it a point not to bring monetary aspects when you have arguments or disputes.
While a few aspects in life require usage of diplomacy or political correctness, you need to be transparent to your spouse, in most aspects. It may not be easy to develop, but spouses should be able to talk to each other about literally everything under the sun. When your spouse knows you will not pretend or hide about anything to him- he or she will bother less about things people say behind your back.
5. Getting Ready For Kids
It can be a matter of dispute. While some couples prefer to have a baby early some others opt for kids later. It makes sense to wait for at least a few years before having kids. You need time to get adjusted to your conjugal life, as it is. Once you find both you and your spouse are comfortable with the nuances of marital life, including financial aspects, you may plan for a kid. Otherwise, you may end up complicating your conjugal journey by having kids early in the way. In fact, the kids born in such dismal situations hardly get a proper upbringing.
6. Giving Time To Each Other
A lot of couples find the spark missing in their marital life after some years, mostly because they do not spend much time together. Spending quality time with your spouse is not limited to watching a movie on weekends or dining out sometimes. While both of you can be busy with career and other things in life, it is wise to extract time from your schedules for each other. You may plan subtle and nice surprises for your spouse at times. It is really good for the spouse to see you are going out of your way to make him or her feel special. This is important even after you have kids.
While the methods listed above will help you resolve marital discords your experience and feelings will guide you the best. With time and effort, you will find out more ways to mend conjugal differences and strengthen the marital relation.